There was a time in my life where I was extremely organized. I like to consider myself organized now, but it's more of an organized chaos type of thing. Last night I was talking to BF, and was explaining to him how good it felt to know where everything was, be on point, and how great it felt to be in that position.
To be specific, it was my job to be organized and people counted on me because they knew I could help them. I knew the answers, and if I didn't, I would find it. I was at the top of my game.
I started wondering what happened to that part of me. The part that put me in the next three jobs afterward earning more titles and money that I ever thought I could at such a young age. The part of me that made me feel like I have accomplished something great at the end of the day. The part of me that truly looked forward to the future and what it has to offer.
Does more responsiblity = less organization? Does aging make you forget how important it is to stay organized? Do I care less about it today then I did 10 years ago? Am I searching for something that does not even exist?
No. No. No. And definitely NO.
I've decided that I want to be on top of my game now more than ever. It's time to stop whining about the could have's, should have's, and would have's and just get on with it. I want that feeling of desire that made me work toward the goals I had and accomplish them.
That part of me still exists, you know. It just comes in a different form and I didn't even recognize it until my epiphany last night. It's just a matter of folding it into my current life and making it work.
This year, I am starting the New Year right. Positive attitude, positive results. No resolutions, because there is nothing to resolve. My life is just where it needs to be.
Happy New Year!