Friday, July 24, 2009

Get over it!

It seems so easy to say, and rarely easy to do. But you HAVE to do it. You HAVE to stop whining and crying like a baby as if this was the worst disappointment in life. Think about all the people in your life for a minute. Everything they are going through, have gone through, and are about to go through. Now, don't you feel silly complaining about that one little thing in your life that didn't go your way?

Or maybe it did go your way, but you are too busy with your pity party to realize it.

I have to admit, I don't even want to tell the story. But I think in order for me to move on, I need to put it out there in the universe. I applied for a job that was not exactly what I had in mind on my journey of finding the "new me", but it was fairly good pay and with a great company. (Yes, I am self-justifying this...bear with me) I was excited to FINALLY get an interview somewhere because the jobs out there...well, are few and far between.

I thought the interview went really well and then had to wait until this week to find out if I made the second round. During this whole waiting process, I found myself wondering if I had even made the right choice by going on the interview in the first place. It's not a job in "accounting" per say, but in the Accounting Department. Maybe, just maybe, it is too close for comfort. As I said, I justified it with two things: the money and the company reputation. Don't get me wrong, the money wasn't like anything I have been used to in the past, but it would have been much more than I had budgeted for and apparently this company has great work-life balance reputation - a major plus!

However, none of this matters anymore, because I did not get selected for round 2 of the interview process. After I found out, I had myself a 10 minute pity party. Ok, it was more like 30 minutes, but you get my point. I am not sure why I even flinched about it, I think it's just the realization that this process is much more difficult and demanding then I anticipated.

So what, I didn't get the job. Life goes on. The way I see it I have two choices:

1. Continue to cry/whine/complain to everyone about how I did not get the job offer. Start a self destructive pattern of bitching about how crappy my situation is and think that nothing in life is going my way...blah, blah, blah.

2. Get over it!

If you know me at all, you know that I am going to choose #2. There is no reason to do otherwise. This just means that there is another plan for me and this just makes me more excited and motivated to find out exactly what that is.

Monday, July 20, 2009

The exciting life of the unemployed

Don't get me wrong, I am not complaining about being unemployed, nor I am not bragging about it. I simply want to share a few things, because I think it's good to see another person's point of view. Especially when you start to feel as if the world revolves in order to make your life miserable.

Most days I sleep in...sometimes until 9am. I get up and have breakfast, make coffee, check my email and then jump in the shower. I take my time to get ready, because I can, and then I start my daily "work routine". I put away the dishes, throw in some laundry, straighten up the living room and kitchen, and by the time that is all said and done it's lunchtime!

Then I go surfing....on the internet....for jobs. This, my friends, is not the highlight of my day as one would expect. However, it has become my LEAST favorite thing to do. Not because there aren't many jobs out there, or that they don't pay enough...but I feel like I am doing it just to pass time and because the unemployment agency expects me to do it.

It is not as if I don't WANT a job, I do. I just want one that will make me feel whole again.

There are times when I feel as if I could have done something different and circumstances might have been more bearable in my past few jobs. Maybe I did something to deserve it. Maybe I just wasn't good enough. Maybe I am just being a spoiled brat. Or maybe.....


It does not take long to figure it out once you talk your way through it, or even better, talk about it with someone who KNOWS your strengths and can see things clearly because they are looking in at your situation and not within it. I am not talking about having a "pity party", or an "oh poor me, feel sorry for me because this world has wronged me" conversation. I am talking about real, true and raw feelings. Tell it like it is. Tell someone what your true irrational fears and phony inadequacies are and DO NOT expect them to tell you that your wrong. You speak truth, and others will give it right back to you in the raw form from which you dealt it out.

The humility that comes out of the conversation will enlighten you....if you let it.

After letting myself drift off into my imaginary philosophical world where I am the Queen of the Soap Box, I wake up to find myself back on the pages of employment search engines. Ah, back to reality. I print out a few jobs that look semi-interesting so I can re-write my resume for the job. I open up my resume and stare at it. I close it back up. I go to Blogger and open up a New Post and stare at the screen. Nothing. Nothing. I can think of nothing remotely interesting to write about. I close up Blogger. I think I should work on one of my books. No, I am not feeling it today. Maybe I should work on a painting. No, I am not in the right mood. I open up Blogger again. I stare at the big open space where words should be spilling out onto the screen. Again, nothing. I close up Blogger again. I check my email once more, laugh at a few jokes and call it a day.

What is different about today, you ask? I've let myself be enlightened.

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Excuses, Excuses...

I certainly don't have any good ones for not posting...for a month! Well, besides the fact that when I arrived home from Omaha, I had a severe cold and couldn't peel myself off the couch for two weeks. I know that is totally lame, but literally, I couldn't think of anything to write except for over-the-counter-remedy reviews, and I don't know anyone who would be interested in that topic. Ok, maybe one, but I don't think he reads this blog. Ha.

I had some fun times with my Oma-homies: CWS beer tents, I actually went to an LSU game, fun on the Missouri River, and of course my favorite: Commune Cooking. If you don't know what commune cooking is, you don't know what you are missing. Every Sunday we would get together at each other's houses for dinner. The idea started out with us bringing what was available in our fridge, pantry, etc., but then escalated a bit when we all started getting a little 'competitive' with our cooking. I suppose I am partially to blame, because I started bringing "fancy" things. Hey, I love to cook, what can I say? Anyway, you never leave with an empty stomach because we all know how to cook really well and have such diverse backgrounds in cooking.

I really miss those dinners and my friends too, they are the best people you will ever meet. :) I can't wait to go back and visit, hopefully again this year.